It Takes A Village, and an Open Heart

The Cat Community of Caring is Growing!

I am absolutely thrilled to write this brief post towards the end of kitten season 2016. It has been a busy season-- lots of strays and fosters, and quite a few TNR. All the foster have found homes, colony cats are neutered! Most gratifying to me has been how many people have come together to help.

Neighbors sought traps to help TNR in their own neighborhoods (Sarah and Zak, Karin), and friends have called, knowing Steve and I will take care of strays found in lots or wandering around, like the Hy-Vee kitten and Community Bank and Trust kitten. And of course, it is wonderful to continue to get to know the passionate individuals who care for colonies. Over these two years, I've built friendships that I would not have otherwise! Thank you to all!!

The progress in two years is amazing and gives me hope. In this crazy year of uncertainty and viciousness, these small acts of love and care, accomplished together, show that together we ALL make a positive, if small, impact in the world.

The Stats:

TNR and kitten placement since 2015:
5 TNR from North Cedar Trailer Park, May 2015
19 from 20th Street in May, 2015 (11 TNR + 5 and 3 kittens placed into homes)
9  from College and 24th St in Summer-Fall 2015 (5 TNR + 4 kittens placed--Cooper, Cherry, Jax and Bella)
2016
6 from College and 24th St August, 2016 (4 TNR + 2 kittens placed-- Ruben and Pumpkin)
1 Kitten from Hy-Vee lot placed (Widget)
1 Stray from 2nd and Clay placed (Destiny, now Rosie)
5 from College and 5th, August-September 2016 (1 TNR + placing 4 kittens--thanks Sarah and Zak!)
3 kittens from 24th and College placed,September, 2016 (Oreo, Cookie, Harper)
1 kitten from Community Bank & Trust October, 2016 placed (name TBD!)

TOTAL in two years: 50 cats spayed/neutered or socialized, vetted, and placed into homes! That's 50 cats that aren't making more litters! 


For earlier stats on fostering and TNR see my post from June, 2015 "Until There are Wait Lists for Kittens"

I wish I could say such positive things about my running. That aspect of my life has definitely slowed. I ran two half-marathons this October (best time: 2:00:08...my PR is 1:43) but because of the difficult spring and fall (personally, politically), priorities necessarily shifted. That makes these kinds of community actions even more meaninful.

Kitten found under the engine of a maintenance truck at Community Bank!

half sibs Harper (adopted 2016!) and Cooper (adopted 2015!)

Hy-Vee kitten and Miss B (now Widget and Pumpkin) got a furr-ever home in Lincoln, NE.

Babs now Pumpkin, with her caregiver

Hy-Vee now Widget, with her caregiver

Sam is now Ruben, and with "best buddy" Boss.

Ruben and his caregiver

Boss and former foster Ruben!

Little Dude who came to me dirty with oil from staying warm under the engine of a maintenance truck at Community Bank and Trust is adopted...name TBA!

Open to Other Ways of Being (or: You Can't Coerce a Cat)

Babs and Sam August 5, 2016--Now Pumpkin and Ruben

Babs, the tuxedo kitty above, ran away yesterday. I'll say more about her story in moment. In some ways, it parallels my own.

It has been eight months since I last wrote in this blog. Over those many weeks, I continued doing what I do: running, working at the university, and trying to help animals and my students as best I am able. However, I also almost broke down. Not because of the things that sustain me, and give back: family, animals, teaching--but rather, because I had spread myself too thin in other areas of my life, namely, work. I allowed other people to get under my skin. I had become anxious, unhappy, my self-esteem dropped. This is somewhat normal for me during the winter months in Iowa--I need vitamin D and sunshine!--but the real issue was my own ego. I took on too much, thinking it was for others. But really, it was for me, for the idea I had of myself as able--and perhaps, more able than others--to fix things, to solve all the problems. I was the "yes" woman. And then I got angry and frustrated when I realized the time and energy I put into these things may not actually yield anything significant, and certainly did not gain me the ego rub I unconsciously sought. Pride is a sin for sure.

It is also a sin in this patriarchial society to be an opinionated woman. I might have gained some respect for the energy and work done, but I was still a woman. Tenured, with two books, many articles, and a third book contract, but I still couldn't speak for myself without getting snide emails from colleagues. I still couldn't love openly and give freely to my students because to do so would be viewed with cynicism. Sadly, I was becoming cynical. I got prickly in everyday interactions, anticipating what others would want from me. But the problem was that I sought approval from the outside--approval that 1) doesn't matter, because it only stokes pride 2)  that I will never be able to gain.

So when I ran away to Utah at the end of the school year in May (or rather, went to Utah on a planned research/vacation trip), I needed that time alone to assess what mattered, where I was safe, where I could be healthy.

Babs did the same thing yesterday. She ran away. We caught Babs in a trap a week ago. She had an injury (from another animal? A piece of wire? Who knows?) under her lip that needed attention. She had fleas and worms. We trapped Babs along with four of her cousins. One of them, little Sam, above, will be adopted out. The others were spayed and neutered (thanks to the TNR services of Cedar Bend Humane Society) and returned to the colony on College Street.

Babs and Sam were playing in the garage, outside of the large cage in which they are safe at night. I opened the garage door without paying attention, and Babs bolted. I should have known better; she had spent the morning meowing by the window, clearly wanting to get outside. I did not listen. I did not pay close attention.

Steve and I spent hours trying to find her. She first ran under our deck; then she ran through the yard into our neighbor's shrubs. I set another trap. I opened tuna. Every now and again, we would hear two or three loud meows--the same meows she had called out from the window. I think she was calling her family.

By 10:30 p.m., still no Babs, though we knew she was nearby. I went to bed hoping that she would get hungry and enter the trap, or that she would seek shelter again in the garage. I purposefully left the door cracked, just in case.

At 3 a.m., I heard Thea bark, and what I thought was the garage door being shut. I got up and went outside to check on the kitties. I saw the door was more open than I had left it, and when I switched on the light, I was thrilled to see Babs resting on top of her cage. I was so glad. She knew where she was safe. She knew where she would get food. She knew.

We had wanted to desperately to catch her-- we intuited from her behavior that she would prefer being free, but we also want to have her spayed once she is big enough. What we didn't anticipate was letting Babs work out for herself what she needed. Babs ran because she wanted out. But once out, she realized she still needed some help. She was smart enough to come back. Animals are smart. Kids are smart (my students often show me how sophisticated, empathetic, and thoughtful they can be). Often, in our pride, in our egotism and self-centeredness, we do not open ourselves to hearing and respecting that these beings can make choices, that they, indeed, do make choices. They respond to us, as we care for them.

We will help Babs, as we try to discern that that is what she wants. We will feed her and get her healthy. And when she is spayed, we will let her be free, back with her family in the colony. I hope that is what she wants. If she starts warming up to us, that plan may change. But we are open to listening to her. You can't coerce a cat. You can't coerce anybody, really. Each of us would run if we were to feel cornered or coerced.

I feel joy every time I release a cat back to his/her home. I also feel joy every time we adopt a kitten into a good home. Each being will be--and what we must do is try to listen to each unique way he or she is. 

I have never been good with authority. I have never liked being told what to do. But I have always wanted to help others. I had to run away to come back to myself. I had to be with nature, feel the openness of the world, the blue of the sky, the orange of the canyons, see the audacity of desert flowers and be with my twin, art, and animals to return to me. Nothing we do should be for pride, for our ego. If I check my ego at the door, I know what I should do. And when I check my ego at the door, I know what I don't need to do. 

Horseshoe Canyon, Canyonlands National Park, May 2016

Blerch Kittens

At the Beat the Blerch 1/2 Marathon start, Nov. 14, 2015

One of my favorite comics is The Oatmeal (see for example "the terrible and wonderful reasons why I run long distances"), and my brother and I made a commitment to run his Beat the Blerch race in Sacramento. Although I had signed up initially for the marathon, after Twin Cities and my ongoing fasciitis/tendonitis, I switched to the half marathon. This was a wise move for my body, and it allowed us all to run together for the first five miles and enjoy each others' company and catch up. This social aspect is part of why I enjoy running. It's as important to me as the individual goals and meditative components that are also so beneficial for my mental health (I have a sticker on my bedroom mirror that reads: "Everyday is a good day when you run." True!)

We love California, and the weather there was perfect. I enjoyed the half, although it was difficult to work through the pain. But once I did (around mile 8), I found a good pace, knowing I'd finish, and finish strong. It certainly wasn't a PR--those middle miles were too cautious and painful--but I was fine with my performance, given the shape I'm in these days. As I wrote in the prior post, I've been stressed and anxious, and that always takes its toll on quality running. Time with family and old friends--including my Aunt, my sweet 18-month-old nephew, and a good friend from college-- also helped lesson anxiety sourced in work and all the things around the house that when at home, seem so important, and when away, seem so unimportant. 

Of course, after our return, we commenced a busy work week. But adding to the balance and richness of work was the service I enjoy: this included my appointment to the Cedar Bend Humane Society Board of Directors, and even better, the adoption of ALL FIVE of the kittens from the litter being fostered by our neighbor. Below are photos of one of the five, now happily relaxing and buddying up in his new furr-ever home!

Scruffy, now Cooper, Nov. 20, 2015

Cooper and Miles, Nov. 17, 2015

It snowed Friday--the day the last of the litter were adopted-- and now it seems the holidays and the stress they induce are upon us. I will try to not be stressed this year; to enjoy family, friends, and outdoor time. I read that depression is living in the past and anxiety is worrying about the future. I will remember this! And rather than worry, I will mindfully enjoy the present. I ran 3 times this past week, with very little pain. One of those days was in the snow, loving the quiet, the smell of the cool air, the effort of running on slippery and uneven surfaces. I am also mindfully enjoying my current obsession with all warm things--not only kittens, but especially hot sauce (I am in love with Sriracha! The Oatmeal is too: "Dear Rooster Sauce"), and smart wool socks!

The Existential Rescuer: Regrets, Chance, Hope

I've been waking in the wee hours of the morning somewhat frequently lately, anxious and worrying about things over which I have no control. The specifics are about animals, past and present, whose welfare I care very much about, but the broader issues of not knowing whether the decision one makes or made is or was the right one weighs on every human soul.

5 kittens, November 4, 2015

At present, 5 wee babies are being fostered by the very same neighbor with whom I TNR'd 5 ferals earlier this fall. The babies' mama apparently was hit by a car. They're about 4 weeks old, and doing great. Of course, I worry about finding them homes, and I worry about them receiving the best care.

These babies won't go to the local shelter, because I know now just how chancy kittens' lives are, even at shelters (unless they are clearly no-kill shelters). Don't get me wrong--CBHS is doing all it can to help as many animals as it can--but there are so many and when they're full, that's it! They look for foster parents, but sometimes it's not enough. This is why, in the crazy hours of the morning, I start thinking about the foster babies from CBHS we had that we brought back to the shelter about a week before they were fully weaned when a few of them had contracted the ringworm fungus. Although I was told that they would receive medical care and later, that they were adopted, I always wonder... was the ringworm bath just too much for the understaffed shelter? Was there room for them at the intake building? DID the babies end up getting adopted? We had to bring them back to receive the medical attention they needed, but I will always beat myself up about it. While perhaps not a mistake, the chanciness of their lives was then in my hands...and I will never know their fates.

I also once advised a former student to call Animal Control to pick up a stray kitten she had found. I now regret having advised that, because municipal and sheltering resources just aren't there, and too many of the animals picked up never make it out. I don't know if the kitten found a home, or if the kitten would have been euthanized. Neither my former student nor I at the time had the resources or space to foster, and for her, calling Animal Control was the best option. It was an act partaken of need and taken with hope--hope that the local animal services could help, and with the animal's welfare as a priority. I look back though, and regret that I didn't try harder to get in touch with a no-kill foster only organization like Waverly Pet Rescue...but there too, I would have served as foster mom by default, which at the time, I couldn't do well.

Another regret I have is one where again, the chanciness of the situation will always make me wonder and worry. I was in Greensboro, North Carolina for a conference in 2013. On an early morning run, I was chased (playfully) by a pit bull puppy, probably about 8 months to a year old. He was a sweet thing, and he followed me to a nearby fire station, where the kind firefighters used a rope to tie a lead on him, and called Animal Control. Only then did they say that there was a breed ban in Greensboro on pits, and at the shelter he would probably be put down, unless a breed rescue stepped in. I then begged the gentlemen to keep him--obviously, I couldn't! After returning to the hotel and conference, I called and left numerous messages for the local pit bull rescue organization--but never heard back. I only hope that the rescue got my messages and stepped in...but I also assume they are probably so overwhelmed, that it was unlikely.

These regrets are borne of not knowing--first, of not knowing that calling the local animal shelter or Animal Control is not always in the best interest of an animal. Shelters and Animal Control are fine if it's a stray who probably has an owner, like a dog or cat that has escaped a yard, but for kittens and truly stray/homeless cats, it can be a 50/50 chance for finding a home or meeting the needle. I didn't know that well-- the realities of overcrowding and understaffing and lack of resources was not clear to me then. My experiences volunteering and learning from others has given me a broader view. And this is why I foster as much as I can and why TNR is such an important program--it keeps cats out of shelters, hopefully making more space for whatever strays do come in, from people like I used to be, who weren't yet educated or empowered to save on their own.

The other piece of not knowing is the not knowing about the fates of so many of these animals with whom I have come into contact. My prior ignorance put some of them in chancy situations. I like to think if I had more control, their fates could have been known, and good. Even still, Steve and I waffle back and forth on making a decision about our current foster, Mona. 5 cats in our house is too many, and Gracie beats up on her. But would she be happier somewhere else? We can't know that she would be, and we can't hand pick a new home for her. I know too, that even if we did hand pick that home, life happens. There have been a lot of animals that I know have had amazing fates--or at least, I know that for the first few years of their lives, their outlook is good, and assuming the homes they ended up in stay secure (we all know something like Hurricane Katrina or a lost job could turn it all upside down...), all will be well.

Ultimately, each of us has to act with knowledge and compassion, with the understanding that what is in our control we have responded to in morally and ethically consistent ways. Each of us can only act on the information we have and do the best we can with it, at any given moment in time. And when we make a decision and act, we HOPE that our decision will have positive outcomes, that our information and reasoning was sufficient and good. Once a decision is made, we have to move on, to acknowledge we did the very best we could, and that the very nature of the dynamic world in which we live means that chance may always throw a wrench in, despite our good, moral, and ethical intentions and actions. Of course, knowledge also allows us to predict and act preventatively rather than as a reaction. As Rebecca Solnit has written: "Hope and history are sisters: one looks forward and one looks back, and they make the world spacious enough to move through freely." Truly, that freedom is what every existentialist thinker seeks.

Foster! Adopt from a shelter! Never buy from a puppy mill or breeder! One day, there will be wait lists for kittens. Let's envision such a future.

Disruption and Change: A PW and BLM at TCM

Twin Cities Marathon, October 4, 2015

I ran Twin Cities Marathon for the 6th time last Sunday. My goal was to finish. As seems to have become a pattern every few years, I have injured myself. Notice the verb tense...I did it to myself, not a passive "I got injured." I need to take responsibility for running with pain and continuing to run with increasing pain. Ironically (or just bad luck?) the trail running goals that I set and blogged about in January seem to have exacerbated the pain by causing a lot of foot and ankle strain. In August, I did Mines of Spain 1/2 (more like 15.5 since I got turned around...) and since that early August day, my right foot has not been okay. I proceeded to get help from a physical therapist, as I had done in 2012-13, and I also asked for help from a chiropractor, for the first time. I honestly don't know what exactly is the root of the pain. Is it stress? Twisting and weakness and imbalance from trail running? A pinched nerve somewhere from some spinal misalignment? That's what the chiro thinks of course, especially since it's gone right/left/right in terms of foot injuries 2008/2012/2015.

My injury isn't the point of this blog (if you want to read more about mentally overcoming the frustration of injury, see my blogs from 2013). Suffice it to say that I finished the marathon and obtained my finisher tee-shirt (very important!). I also clocked my slowest time ever (PW! Personal Worst). But I am grateful! The point is to draw attention to the power of DISRUPTION and the importance of reflecting on the imbalance that causes the need for disruption. Disruption is a powerful form of resistance that can facilitate some healthy and necessary changes.

On the micro scale, the disruption of injury forces one to change one's activities--or continue hurting oneself to the point of incapacity. I personally need to re-adjust and rest and let myself heal. I need to acknowledge and be witness to the disruption my body is signalling. If only we as a society would listen to our Body too. There are integral and important parts of this Social Body that are injured and sick and only the DISRUPTION of something like Black Lives Matter or Occupy--the disruption of populist social movements-- might prompt the changes necessary to heal it.

In case, dear reader, you are unaware of the controversy that surrounded this year's TCM, the St. Paul chapter of Black Lives Matter (BLM) had announced plans for a disruption event at the marathon. This announcement caused quite a kerfuffle among the white-bourgeois-dominant running community who, perhaps, did not quite understand the inconvenience of a disrupted event is nothing compared to the "inconvenience" of systemic social inequality. The best essay I have found on the TCM BLM issue was written by the blogger at Run Vegan, and I encourage you to read it in full.

Disruption is a powerful force for reflection and change--even with seemingly insignificant changes (see for example, this NY Times blogger on how changing the direction of his yoga practice disrupted his world). I want to change, but it is hard. I am in the habit of running a lot, almost everyday. But I can change. It will be easier with support of friends and family, and those who are willing to call me out if they see me doing something unhealthy, especially now that I have expressed my desire to change these habits. I have decided to take action. Similarly, changing the presumptions, privileges, and the blindness, deafness, and dumbness of dominant society and media to the rampant racism and inequality of our Social Body is hard. It will continue to be difficult because our Social Body is in the habit of inequality and of justifying it through all sorts of tautologies. But here too, disruptions, and subsequent support and reminders are, and will continue to be, necessary. We have created this imbalance in our Body, and we can heal it, together, through mindful action. Let's remind each other, daily--in class, in friendly gatherings, at the gas station--wherever we see inequality and racism in action, call it out. Support and love those who are already calling it out. With love and compassion, let us work together to heal our Social Body.

From N. Scott Momaday:
House made of dawn.
House made of evening light.
House made of the dark cloud.
House made of male rain.
House made of dark mist.
House made of female rain.
House made of pollen.
House made of grasshoppers.
Dark cloud is at the door.
The trail out of it is dark cloud.
The zigzag lightning stands high upon it.
Male deity!
Your offering I make.
I have prepared a smoke for you.
Restore my feet for me.
Restore my legs for me.
Restore my body for me.
Restore my mind for me.
This very day take out your spell for me.
Your spell remove for me.
You have taken it away for me.
Far off it has gone.
Happily I recover.
Happily my interior becomes cool.
Happily I go forth.
My interior feeling cool, may I walk.
No longer sore, may I walk.
Impervious to pain, may I walk.
With lively feeling may I walk.
As it used to be long ago, may I walk.
Happily may I walk.
Happily, with abundant dark clouds, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant showers, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant plants, may I walk.
Happily, on a trail of pollen, may I walk.
Happily may I walk.
Being as it used to be long ago, may I walk.
May it be beautiful before me
May it be beautiful behind me.
May it be beautiful below me.
May it be beautiful above me.
With it be beautiful all around me.
In beauty it is finished.

[Acronyms! PW= Personal Worst; PR= Personal Record; TCM= Twin Cities Marathon; BLM= Black Lives Matter; PF= Plantar Fasciitis]

2008 TCM 4:41:29 (1st marathon; PF right foot)
2010 TCM 3:53:27
2011 San Francisco 4:00:24
2011 TCM (PR!) 3:49:34
2012 TCM 4:24:51 (PF left foot)
2014 TCM 4:19:54
2015 TCM (PW!) 4:47:08 (PF right foot)

BLM and 'Merica

How Was Your Summer?

We're getting to that time of year....school starts on Monday, and everybody will be asking about each other's summers. Summer... those three months "off" for students and teachers. Of course, if one is a teacher or professor, one knows those three months are hardly a vacation! I relish summer of course, because I need the mental and emotional break and distance from all that teaching and being at University entails. Three months away from students, daily meetings, asinine emails, and the stuff that slowly wears one down is a wonderful and necessary span of time for mental, intellectual, and emotional refreshment. It's a time for re-establishing balance that so easily goes off-kilter during busy times, whether or not one is a student or teacher who follows the rhythms of semesters and academic calendars.

So how was my summer? Pretty great! It has been refreshing emotionally and intellectually. It was a time for doing all the things that needed to be done--that always need to be done--but that summer allows to get done. Indeed, while I love teaching and I love the stimulation of being among colleagues at a University 9 months of the year, I am extremely selfish about my alone time. There is so much constantly going on, not just 8-5, but evening events, weekend trips etc. etc. that summer allows the pace to slow down, allows one to be, to live, to remember that constantly plugging away or answering that email freak-out, or whatever actually doesn't matter that much. Because there is time. There is time for thinking. Time for doing. Time for being. The long days and the self-prescribed schedule allow each of us to expand our breathing into the space that increased time allows. Ahhhhhhh

I guess that's the point of a vacation...is it vacation, really?

So how was my summer? What did I do? Even while it was relaxing, I still did a lot! In fact, what I do during the times I'm not on campus I find extraordinarily meaningful, and the experiences I have in my "free" time (is it free? I think it all relates to my being, purpose, and work...)  refreshes me for my students and my thinking and writing. The experiences I have off-campus shape what I do and how I think and how I teach during the year. Like sabbaticals, summers give us what we need, if we are aspirational and ambitious enough to know what it is we need--or as a wise former Dean of my college, quoting Madeleine L'Engle, said "Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it." Professors and teachers work in the summer, but it is work of different kind. Yes, summer or sabbatical is self-structured, so that helps. Summer provides breathing space, thinking space, and the opportunities for unexpected experiences and concomitant interconnected ideas that we allow our minds to link together in the spaces and expanded time without strict schedule, routine, emails, meetings, and classes. That space and time is absolutely necessary for the best work--the inspired work--to happen.

So what did I do this summer? Well, most importantly, I saved lives. Even though I want to say the highlight of my summer was the U2 concert in Chicago (ok, it really was!! Beer at a tap room and U2? Phenomenal!)

Really, lasting rewards are in the work with animals that also refreshes my scholarship. Not only did the school year end with the trapping of 11 cats and subsequent fostering in May and June of the remaining kittens (see June post), but we also are about to close the summer circle of cat care by trapping a few (hopefully 4-6) more black cats living feral on College Street for TNR. We are also fostering a darling 12 week kitten, Mona, who is available for adoption through Waverly Pet Rescue.

Mona--available for adoption!

 
I am sure that the black kitties scheduled to be trapped Monday are the relatives of Peanut aka Lil P, whom we found on campus last summer. I've also been walking tons of dogs at CBHS--they need so many walks--and I love that time. It can be stressful, in its own way, but it requires full attention, which allows my brain to relax, and solve problems my active mind couldn't. I find walking dogs extremely cathartic for that reason--much like running in "the zone." Total focus is required.

Somewhat satisfactorily, I wrote--a lot (always with the help of many friends and colleagues!). I wrote two IRBs (both approved!) and fellowship applications, a chapter for my next book, and the conference paper that summarizes it...in addition to some reports blah blah blah. Less importantly, but necessary for my engagement with the modern world, I upgraded my material life. I bought a new (used) car (the first car I've ever purchased on my own! Shocking!) and I just finally upgraded to an iPhone. Ha! AND we're still in the throes of remodeling! AAND we put in a rain garden!

Goodness, we DID do a lot since May!

I ran a lot, too. I ran quite a few trail races--the Hawkeye 25K, Pilot Knob 15k, Grand Island, MI half-marathon, the Mines of Spain half marathon, and of course, other runs on the trails...[Taking Back the Trails was an important event this summer too, after a horrific violent assault in George Wyth State Park...]

I guess it's no wonder that the plantar fasciitis returned to my right foot, so that my running has been curtailed... even though mentally I feel refreshed after these three months, all this physical work afforded by the longer days has taken its toll on my human body! That...and all the running. Now to let that body rest while my mind works in class...

Until There Are Wait Lists for Kittens

Today I said goodbye to Ruby, the last of the three foster babies Steve and I have raised over the last month. We had had Ruby, JT, and Brittany since May 17. They came in to us at about three weeks old, still so young they were being bottle fed, and needed the occasional enema when the formula wasn't processing well.

These three babies were from a litter of four, by a mama who was spayed by Iowa Humane Alliance on April 27. Mama, along with 10 other feral cats near UNI's campus, were trapped by me and concerned neighbors. It was a community undertaking! We all came together, pooled time, money, and resources, and have, we hope, prevented the continuation of lots of babies who are difficult to keep healthy and for whom it is difficult to find homes.

11 Cats at 20th Street and Merner, April 27, 2015

Early that spring, Steve and I had helped trap 5 cats at North Cedar trailer park, in March, 2015. We were thrilled by the success of that enterprise, so when our friends and neighbors approached us about the situation near campus, we were ready to take it on.

At Iowa Humane Alliance

In both TNR cases, the homeowners made it easy. They had already established feeding schedules for the cats and getting them used to the traps over the course of a couple days was no problem.

Two litters were, however, born before April 27--the litter of four, and another litter of 5. The mama of the 5 returned to her litter after her spay, and those 5 were subsequently caught at 5 weeks, socialized, and adopted. The litter of 4, as mentioned, was a tougher go, since Mama didn't return. Taking care of them too, was a community event. We had volunteers bottle feed them and wipe their bottoms every 2-3 hours for the first three weeks. We also had help from Cedar Valley Vet. Drs. Paulsen and Christman and the vet techs there provided useful and compassionate advice and care at a critical period. One of the babies, Runty, didn't survive. He died at the vet with warm food in his belly and having had 3 weeks of love and care. Sometimes kittens have congenital issues that can't be overcome.

The remaining three--JT, Brittany, and Ruby, subsequently entered my care. I bottle-fed them, wiped their bums, gave them enemas, and eventually, weaned them.

Brittany, inspecting her enema implement at about 4 weeks old.

Brittany and JT, May 19, 2015 (just under four weeks old!)

Fostering is a rewarding and emotional experience. We have fostered many babies, and they always integrate into our home and hearts. I said goodbye to Brittany and JT on Wednesday; Cedar Valley Vet has them available for adoption. I know they will get excellent care, lots of love, and find good homes. Ruby went to her new home today, leaving me what felt like an empty nest. The energy and fun of kittens is good for our household of 4 adult cats and dog, just as it's good for the babies.

Even though it is always hard to say goodbye, I know the babies will be in good hands and grow up to be great cats, and that is partially because they were cared for socialized in foster care. Adopting them out means we can do it again....and again...and again.

JT, Brittany, and Ruby, at about 8 weeks

Ruby, on her way to her new home, June 19, 2015

Since we began fostering and TNR, we have saved a lot of lives. I'm listing them below, along with running events (some complementary) for my own memory...

In 2015 so far, the 11+5 TNR + 3 kittens in our care= 18

In 2014 I Ran 2014 Twin Cities Marathon and raised $1000 for CBHS and Waverly Pet Rescue.

In August, we found Lily, now "Mouse" in Fairfield she is now in a wonderful home there.

We also Fostered Jessie and her 9 babies in July-August of 2014 and found Panther 2, aka Lil P aka Peanut in July. We kept Peanut ("foster failure"!).

We fostered Benson, a cat from CBHS, in January, hoping he would integrate with us. It didn't work out, but he found a home not long after.

2013
Omar (adopted from WPR in August)
Kima (Kaylee) (fostered in August and now in wonderful CF home)
Panther 1 found on campus between Union and the Library in July; she died a few days later from kidney failure RIP
Our cat Sophia died in March

2012
I ran 2012 Twin Cities Marathon (supporting marriage equality in Minnesota)

2011
I ran Twin Cities Marathon for Bolder Options
Fostered and adopted Gracie in July-August
Fostered Willa aka "Skidmark" in July-August

2010
I ran Twin Cities Marathon

2009-10
We fostered Cody, a papillon, in December-January

2008
I ran Twin Cities Marathon for Childrens' Miracle Network

That's 38+ animal lives saved and improved (more if you include our already-resident cats and dog)! Here's to 50...and on and on, until, as a sage woman once said to me, "there are waiting lists for kittens".

Update 6/29/15: JT and Brittany were adopted by the same woman from Cedar Valley Vet! Ruby continues to be Miss Independent in her new home.

AAaand I am registered for the Twin Cities Marathon, October 4 2015 and Beat the Blerch, November 14!

Appreciating Mortality

Hawkeye 25K April 11, 2015

Appreciation can mean a lot of things, Some thing can "appreciate" by increasing in value. Similarly, a person can "appreciate," or value, some thing, or "appreciate", or recognize, the value or significance of some thing.

I ran my first trail race of the season, the Hawkeye 25K, in Solon, Iowa. It was a great course. The first 5 miles consisted of a wide gravel path along the shore of Lake McBride. It was pretty and I focused on listening and breathing the cool air. After crossing a dike, runners stepped through rock rapids. That was exciting! The trail continued in the woods, on soft dirt and leaves up and down and all around. I enjoyed it very much, and again focused on the sounds of the woods, the chirping of birds and frogs, the sounds of the lake. I was happy to focus on my breathing to control the ascents as well. I felt strong, pulling the air into my lungs and envisioning it spreading to my muscles, giving my blood and muscles oxygen and preventing cramps. The final four or so miles was on the paved road, up a few long hills. I felt good, and appreciative of my lungs, my legs. I thought about striking the ground on my forefoot, of keeping my turnover going, and breathing deeply with each strike. I felt strong, passing many other runners (to be fair, some probably were 50K runners!).

I am appreciative that my body works. I appreciate that friends and colleagues also enjoy running. I appreciate the volunteers and wider circle of runners who make these events happen. I appreciate nature, and those who care for it.

To appreciate my body and what it can do, I appreciate mortality. Not that I am grateful for mortality, but I recognize its constant presence. Every day I am older, as are family members and friends. Every day, my body ages a little more (depreciates?)--and at the same time, I still do a lot-- and so do so many others, much older than me.

I've been struck reading Being Mortal recently, and reflecting upon a desire to be appreciated. Gawande writes about how important purpose is to make living living--even if one is dying. I'm not (actively) dying, I have purpose and meaning (we create our own) in my life--much of that is from my work, from teaching, from writing. But often my students, young as they are, don't yet recognize mortality, appreciate the gift of education, the brevity and privilege of college, of vitality. Who does appreciate transient moments? Animals, to be sure, and the elderly, and those close to death. Gawande writes about that inverse dynamic. It's not necessarily being older or being wiser or more experienced so much as recognizing-- appreciating the mortality and transitory nature of nature.

So many writers and artists have reflected on this subject, a silly running blog can't do justice to it (Ecclesiastes, Thoreau, Solnit; Pieter Claesz, Nicholas Poussin, Andy Goldsworthy...).

Running though, and especially running in nature, enhancing mindfulness, reminds me of my mortality, in a very positive way.

2015: Inspirations and Goals

It's been a long time since the last post...three months. In that time, I've had some amazing experiences running and with animals that have shaped what I want to focus on in the coming year.

In November, Steve and I drove almost 3000 miles round-trip to Kanab, Utah and the Grand Canyon (north and south rims). It was a wonderful, scenic, and educational trip. Some of the best experiences we had were running trails along the red rocks in Kanab, and hiking the trails at the Grand Canyon.

Squaw Trail, looking at the summit around 8 a.m. Kanab, UT

On Bright Angel Trail, Grand Canyon South Rim

We were in Kanab specifically to volunteer at Best Friends Animal Sancuary. It was amazing. The sanctuary is the largest no-kill sanctuary in the U.S. and it is beautiful. We volunteered the first day at Cat World, and then we each did a shift at Dog Town and Wild Friends. The shift at cat world was incredible, awesome, inspiring, educational... we played with cats in Quincy House, a house that is dedicated to special needs cats, especially those with FIV, FELV, and manx syndrome. Many of the manx syndrome cats have deformed hind legs, or cannot use their hind legs, and/or are incontinent. Needless to say, these are the animals that are euthanized elsewhere. Hence most people (like us!) have no idea. And yet each one has his/her own personality, to be sure!! We played with them and walked them...

In addition to running the trails around Kanab, we ran some of the acreage at Best Friends. Running trails with vistas and hills (ascents that sometimes force one to walk!) was challenging, fun, and took my mind away from the habit-forming chains of time and distance that are so often how I think about my running.

So, for 2015, I have running goals that derive from these western experiences. Some are mental goals; some are physical. As we know, the two are linked... (mens sana in corpore sano)

1. Run more trails.
2. Be okay with getting lost. (See for example, Rebecca Solnit's Field Guide to Getting Lost...)
3. Be mindful. Breathe. Enjoy the scenery. Enjoy being. Enjoy the moment. (see earlier blogs on running with the mind of meditation...)
4. Run more trails in Cedar Falls/Waterloo. Especially along the creek to Hudson. Explore.
5. Complete at least three trail races in the midwest: Mines of Spain (8/8), Surly Loppet (9/26), and...?
6. Complete a race in the West...preferably in Utah,....preferably a trail race....
7. Continue to practice yoga, pilates, and build general strength.
8. Share it. Expand the community. For others' mental and physical well-being, including animals.

Over the last two years I have benefited enormously from an ever-growing running community (FASTR friends, marathon running friends, trail running advocates...). My running has become much more communal, external, and more rewarding internally for me as a result. I am so very, very grateful for all the support of my friends and family, particularly for your support of the causes I've linked to my running.

Here's to sharing health, mindfulness, and love in 2015!!

Post-Marathon Inspiration: Togetherness

2 miles in and smiling

 The Twin Cities Marathon happened, and I finished in 4:19:54. No PR by any means, but more importantly I was delighted, awed, and inspired by two friends and runners who completed their first marathon--together.

Finishing Together

I was also delighted and grateful to be running with my kitty tank and ears, in honor of all those who donated to Cedar Bend Humane Society and Waverly Pet Rescue. I raised over $1000 for both organizations, thanks to the generosity and support of friends, family, and colleagues.

I commented on it many times over the weekend, and I'll write it here too: I am more inspired by first-time runners who set a goal and accomplish it--often exceeding their own expectations--than I am by elite runners. Watching my friends smile through 5+ hours of running fills my heart with love and joy that others are sharing this amazing sport. My heart is filled by the camaraderie that is built by such an event. These two women had met only the night before (at Dangerous Man, of course!) and yet for 26.2 miles they pulled each other along. They talked the entire time, no music necessary. Each had worries and fears, neither had run more than 14 or 20 miles, respectively. And yet they did it. They ran. Together. And loved it.

I could write about being disappointed in my mediocre time (judged against myself) and my frustration with starting too fast, with wanting to PR too much, the sadness of realization and necessary goal-readjustment when pace groups passed me at miles 18 and 20. But how selfish! How antithetical to the purpose of running these events! How disingenuous to the support I received from a whole community of people who helped me help those furry animals who can't help themselves! A marathon is all about togetherness, support, assistance, love, caring. Because it is hard, because it is impossible to accomplish on one's own. We take time from our families, loved ones, jobs etc. just to train--and in the event, we receive the support of so many individuals on the course, and those in our memories and in our hearts. I was strengthened by a friend who ran up the St. Thomas-Summit hill with me, and by knowing where I would see my parents cheering and by knowing how many people supported my running and the cause.

How much better is that than being in one's own head for two or three or four hours? The elation that is knowing it's going to happen, that you can do it is so much more rewarding and motivating than worrying about numbers and splits and breaking (personal) records. What I witnessed with these first-timers is what running is about: Camaraderie, love, gratitude, strength, and assistance; sharing the experience of a challenge that not many individuals take up or accomplish.

I joined them briefly at mile 24. I will always remember seeing them before they saw me. I started screaming their names and telling them they were going to make it, they were going to finish, that it was less distance to the finish than we had run just the day before. I will always remember the smiles I saw break across their faces. They didn't even look tired. My heart was so full it was ready to burst. That's why people cry at marathons--both runners and spectators alike--because there is so much, almost too much, love.

Marathons remind me of a quote from Marguerite Young. I have used it to critique capitalism, but it also demonstrates community love as exemplified in running: "The individual is the one illusion."

Labor Day Cleaning!

I have been looking forward to cleaning today! While we acknowledge the power of worker solidarity today, I am feeling good about doing a deep clean of the house. A full day to vacuum, dust, scrub, and pull carpet!

I realized as I was vacuuming the den that it's not so much that I love cleaning as that I love two things that are cause-effect related to cleaning. I love that brief moment when everything is clean and in order--when it's all done, if for a moment, and I love the events that prompt me to clean.

This actually relates to running--I ran a good 20 miles on Saturday morning. By 10 miles in my shirt and shorts were saturated with sweat. The shower after that long run felt amazing, especially sloughing off the dried salty dirt on my skin. Saunas, hot yoga, exercise generally--it's not just cleaning the dirt and sweat off, it's the cleansing power of sweating itself that makes one feel so good.

Think about it--we all probably enjoy the things that prompt really good cleans. These are the things that are awesome and fun, often events to look forward to or work hard for. I enjoy parties, well-prepared food, house guests, 10 kittens, and good runs not because I know of the imminent cleanse, but because these provide sustained moments that refresh and re-set me. These are phenomena that I not only enjoy but that I love. And each of these phenomena require a good scrub afterwards, which for me, also leads to that brief moment where everything is new, fresh, and re-set again--be it an orderly room or a relaxed body.

What prompted this particular reflection on cleaning was that we returned the foster kittens to the shelter yesterday. Feeling bittersweet about it, I took Azriel, Ike, Zeke, Miri, Debbie, Annie, Zara, Liza, Micah and mama Jessie to CBHS in the morning. Although we enjoyed watching them grow, learn and play, it was good timing that we returned them when we did. They are just shy of 7 weeks old, eating solid food, and they had made a mess of our guest bedroom in spite of my best efforts. Embarrassingly, within the last 30 hours, a few of them also somehow manifested what appeared to be ringworm (ringworm isn't a worm, it's a fungus, and it can be tracked in with dirt, or a person who had it, or whatever; so all our visitors made our kitten room like every single daycare.). The kittens will get cleaned up by the amazing vet techs at CBHS and hopefully find furr-ever homes very, very soon!

Meanwhile, while the kittens are receiving cleansing love, Steve and I pulled carpet and cleaned. Not to eradicate their presence, but to start new for whatever fun, wild, and probably dirty adventure is to come. As an aside, Lil P aka Panther is still with us.

The marathon is less than 5 weeks away! Time to get donating if you've been meaning to'!!!!! Donate here today!   https://sites.google.com/site/runningtorescue/

18 and Counting

No, there aren't 18 kittens in La Casa Sutton/Swanson, nor are we breeding or self-promoting Dugger-style. But Steve did find his second kitten of the season, on campus early this morning while walking Thea. Panther (2) is a healthy little black kitten, about 4-5 weeks old. After some initial fear hisses, she's warmed right up to us and is exploring. She's napping in my lap as I write this.

Panther (2) August 24, 2014

Of course, we still have Jessie and her brood of 9 kittens. They will be 6 weeks on Wednesday, and are busy learning to play and climb mountains and beds and legs. Soon though, they will be up for adoption at Cedar Bend Humane Society.

All this care for little lives has taught us a lot, and one of those lessons has been our own limits and needs. We know we can't keep them all, and really, that our set up will need modifying for any larger number of fosters. We learned our limits of integrated animals (ie those in the house) with Benson this past winter. Three's a crowd, four's two many, five's not allowed! 

This posed a dilemma when we found a kitty while visiting family in Fairfield August 8-9. Near our b&b, we heard mews in the lilies, and a sweet young thing came out for us. We called her Lily, fed her for 24 hours, and worried about her, because we knew we couldn't bring any more cats into the house! Serendipitously, the evening before we were to depart, we met neighbors who were gracious,willing, and kind-hearted enough to agree to care for her until she is old enough to be spayed, and perhaps even find a home for her. They've stayed in touch, and Lily seems to be doing well. My biggest concern was her getting spayed, so as not to continue the problem. Alley Cat Allies is great on TNR education, and just recently a "planned parenthood" for animals clinic, Iowa Humane Alliance, opened in Cedar Rapids. They have very inexpensive spay/neuter services, and will do them on a pay-what-you-can scale, even if you can't pay at all.

Lily, Fairfield August 9, 2014

With this most recent black stray kitten, I reflect on the number of animals' lives saved by fostering and finding homes, just in the last four years. 18, by my count...and only one of those is a true foster-failure for us (ie: we kept her): Gracie. Since 2010, we've fostered a nine-year old papillon dog, Cody, Gracie and Willa (aka Skidmark) in 2011, the original Panther (RIP), found on campus, and Kaylee (aka Kima) in 2013, Benson, and Jessie and the crew this year (2014). I have been humbled and inspired by a volunteer foster mom from Waverly Pet Rescue, who, when we adopted Omar from her, said that her goal was one day to have people wanting a cat and having to be on a wait-list for one because supply was less than demand. The very idea that there might one day not be a pet overpopulation problem blew my mind. That is indeed, a goal that every one of us can work toward.

Indeed, the selflessness of others and the belief that every little bit counts when we work together toward eradicating a problem is why I am collecting donations for Waverly Pet Rescue and Cedar Bend. The marathon is about one month away, and I've raised $552! Donate today to help spay/neuter and save animals' lives!

Many of the lessons I have learned by fostering are translatable to running--really to life generally, but I'll make the link for the purpose of solicitation. Lessons relevant to every being's life can be gleaned from these on-going experiences. Trust is built from shelter, food, and care; adaptability and intelligence is manifest and encouraged by learning, exploring and growing in new environments; grieving, healing, and forgiving take time; and patience is necessary with ourselves, and them. We are each others' guardians and teachers. Throughout, I have been amazed by how adaptive animals--and all of us-- are.

Thea, Jessie, and Babies, August 2014

Thea helps get the kitties socialized and dog-friendly. Max, our 13-year old senior, has always been an ambassador, calm and curious.

Omar, Max, Benson, January 2014

Max, Jessie, and Crew, August 2014

Thanks again for reading, and for your support!! https://sites.google.com/site/runningtorescue/

Running to Rescue...the Cycle of Life

Look at Jessie, the young foster mama! She has been with us for a week now, with her nine babies. The kittens were born July 16 and will be available for adoption in September, through Cedar Bend Humane Society.

Remember, I am currently training for the Twin Cities Marathon, and raising money for Cedar Bend and Waverly Pet Rescue. Please go to my fundraising site, Running to Rescue to donate and help these fabulous organizations in the Cedar Valley. I ran 14 miles this morning, 9:15 pace with friends, so we're on a roll! I've raised just over $550 so far, and committed to kitty ears, whiskers, and a (short) tail....let's see what else I'll have to wear/do for 26.2! Every day I run I am grateful that I am able to do so without pain, and grateful knowing so many people in the community support running for this cause.

Three events this past week have brought the cycle of life to the fore:
At the same time we have these 2-week old kittens, we also are caring for our 13 year old cat, Max, who is recuperating from a stroke.

Kitty strokes are apparently very rare. He must have had it sometime last Thursday or Friday. It's incredible that he came through it. He didn't move, eat or drink for almost 24 hours. We got him to the vet, got advice and prednisone, and force fed him--not unlike a new baby without its mother. We really thought we would have to put him down if he didn't eat on his own. Thankfully, he was eating on his own and managed stairs within 48 hours! He certainly has a will to live. We think he is blind, and his left side and back legs especially are weak, so he is very wobbly. Still, he is inspiring, and clearly enjoys being with us and being petted. He listens for us, and meows to us, even as he gingerly makes his way from room to room. He needs help getting on and off the bed, but so long as he is eating and making it to the litterbox, he's still handicapable!!

We joke we have 10 blind cats, a nursing home and a nursery all at once!

Finally, last night some friends had a Sweet 16 birthday party for their dog. 16 is ancient for a coonhound (or really, any dog)! They collected donations to Cedar Bend in his honor. What a fabulous idea! We'll have to wait 6 more years until we can throw a quinceañera for Thea...but we will. Maybe we'll even auction off her first dance.

Summer is a wonderful time for me to renew my service and my running. So often during the year it is hard to feel appreciated in the busy-ness of daily life. Animals--especially babies, and stroke kitties and dogs at the shelter--these animals in desperate need of attention and care clearly appreciate whatever time and resources we have to give. It's very rewarding and enhances the other aspects of my life that seem mundane and routine. In their appreciation of the moment, I have learned to try to let go and appreciate each moment, and the small gifts (of ability, motion, food, love, shelter) that we tend to take for granted.

More baby pics!
 The babies don't yet have names...so if there are ideas, we are open to them!
And please...DONATE or visit your local shelter today! Go to: Running to Rescue

Enter National Pride

I don't generally think of myself as very patriotic. In fact, much of my work critiques simplistic categories of social distinction (nationalism/race/class) and how news media and visual culture perpetuates simple-minded and often jingoistic and imperialist attitudes of misplaced racial/national/cultural superiority. Still, having just spent sixteen days driving across the country-- 3,177 miles and through at least 14 states and the District of Columbia later (IA, IL, IN, MI, OH, WV, PA, KY, NY, NJ, MA, CT, DE, MD and D.C.)-- I feel, oddly enough, very patriotic, proud, and grateful to be American. Let me explain by way of three of my favorite things: running, food, and art. These elements, shared with friends and loved ones, reminded me of the ideals and exceptional* qualities of this vast expanse of land and confederation of people.

Heartbreak Hill, Newton, MA June 8, 2014

The epic road trip began with a three-day stop in Chicago, and culminated in my running the Heartbreak Hill half-marathon just outside of Boston. Along the way I visited various museums, ate a variety of food with friends, and ran in beautifully managed urban and suburban landscapes. Visiting the museums was the rationale for the trip--I am conducting research on animals in the biblical prints by Rembrandt, and in paintings by Paulus Potter and Aelbert Cuyp (17th century Dutch artists). It strikes me that there are many museums with outstanding collections across the United States. These collections speak to (some) Americans' interest in and valuing of visual and material objects from across cultures and countries. Indeed, how some of these collections were shaped (for example, the Barnes in Philadelphia, Corcoran in D.C., or Isabella Stewart Gardner museum in Boston) show how individuals thought broadly (or narrowly) and desired to share their respective privilege. While in D.C., I was particularly struck by the ideals for access to education, culture and cultural capital, information, and government. Being able to walk down the Mall and visit art museums, history museums, government buildings and memorials all for the people and paid for by our taxes--so free in that they are all our shared cultural heritage and identity and responsibility-- provided me that constant reminder of just how rich culturally and financially this country is. It made me feel proud to be among tourists speaking many different languages who had come to D.C. to see the actualization of the ideals on which this country was built.

Lakeshore Trail, Chicago. Crushed rock/dirt good for the tootsies.

I had some amazing runs while I was in various cities: along the lake shore of Lake Michigan, along the Potomac River and into the National Zoo in D.C., up and down wooded trails in a gorgeous gorge in Philadelphia, and along the Charles in Boston. Here too, our municipal, state, and federal government with the aid of our voices and our taxes--help to create and maintain beautiful trails open to all to walk, run, bike, and enjoy. It is not lost on me either, that the highways and interstates on which I drove are also a benefit of this wealthy nation and the taxes we pay. Along some of those roads--particularly old Highway 40, the vistas are truly spectacular. The Dutch must have felt a similar pride and awe in themselves and their ingenuity in diking and claiming land and building trekschuiten. Certainly such thoroughfares aid in commercial transport, and they also contribute to the transport of ideas and people who intermingle and enrich each other.

Rock Creek and Potomac River Parkway, Washington, D.C.

Valley Green trail, Philadelphia

6 miles along the Charles River in Boston

Roads, managed landscapes, museums and cultural institutions--these are all spaces where many, many different kinds of people come together, both in real time (international tourists, citizens, local residents), and in museums, abstractly. Looking at architecture or at museums' variety of objects, we can trace how various peoples have interacted and exchanged ideas and shared what drives, motivates, and makes them--and how some peoples and their cultures have been suppressed, subjugated, or even eradicated. Food also tells this story of the gifts that are brought by diverse human exchange. In Chicago I ate donuts and pasta; these are not "American"--donuts, I want to say are Dutch/Scandinavian (poffertjes anyone?) and pasta of course, has origins in the Mediterranean, although today it is most commonly identified with Italy. It was immigrants who brought such delights here--and these were the cheap things to eat, for those who had little money for extravagance. I ate homemade lasagna with locally gathered mushrooms in Ann Arbor, and I appreciated the hours of labor necessary for such a meal. 

Delightful donuts in Chicago

Purely homemade mushroom lasagna in Ann Arbor

In Cincinnati, I enjoyed a tamale with fresh corn and tomato salsa-corn and tomatoes are "new world" crops--and so here too, food is an indication of the richness of the land and indigenous cultures, that while co-opted and often suppressed, still have hugely influenced "American" immigrants' diets--and diets around the world because of exchange and travel.

A delicious summer tamale at Senate in Cincinnati

More recent than the European immigrants of the sixteenth- through nineteenth centuries are immigrants from Ethiopia, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Eritrea, Sudan, Somalia--the list goes on. I enjoyed Ethiopian and Thai food in D.C., and Philly too. Access to such a variety of food is largely taken for granted in these urban areas! Yet its availability is a result of our rich cultural diversity and relies upon the many different peoples who make up this nation, and broaden and enrich all of us even more.

Spicy and healthy Ethiopian food in D.C.

These reflections on trails and food speak to community and the importance of coming together and sharing the variety of qualities and ideas that fill our hearts and minds and enable each of us to "pay it forward" in turn. My trip ended with the half-marathon in Boston. I ran the Heartbreak Hill half because I wanted to run part of the Boston marathon course. I was deeply affected by the bombings at the marathon in April, 2013. I used to work in Watertown and many of my friends and family have run Boston. During the national anthem before the race, I actually got a little misty-eyed. This is not like me at all. Then, and as I climbed that last uphill before the finish, I thought of the tragedy a year earlier. Really, I thought of how resilient runners--and people generally--are.** The runners at this race were so very nice. I felt more community here than I have at events much smaller. It was as though, unspoken, we all were bonded by our awareness of the emotional and physical pain of the past that had been inflicted on some by others who had somehow lost hope, or felt disenfranchised. There was hometown pride from those running who hailed from surrounding communities, like Shalane Flanagan from Marblehead, and there was national and international pride as well. South Koreans waved flags, and I heard Spanish cheers on the course too. It is truly awesome that Meb Keflezighi won the Boston marathon in 2014-- an immigrant from Eritrea, he draped himself in an American flag at the finish. We all meld and blend and enjoy life in the throng of people together, running, cheering, encouraging, supporting. This throng, this strength in community, in our differences as well as our shared will to help each other--with food, hospitality, encouragement up a hill--this is why I feel so proud.

What can a road trip do? It reminded me of how interconnected and interwoven my identity is with every other person's, and that all of us are part of each other. We all know it--the major religions theoretically mandate it-- we must care for, respect, and love each other as we would care for and love ourselves.

Meb Keflezighi after winning the Boston Marathon, 2014

*That's not to say one should trot out American Exceptionalism in self-righteous explanations for unequal, unfair, exploitative, or bullying policies and practices around the globe.

** Read Rebecca Solnit's A Paradise Built in Hell. Review